May 12th, 1903

What is a woman supposed to be?
-nurturing
-unassuming
-fragile
-well mannered
-good housekeeper

So I am supposed to be a pushover. I know there are others that feel this way, we have met, and we have talked. I know better. I can not say these things to anyone but my few confidants. Some of them are so easily admirable. They are strong willed, independent women that know what they want and how to get it from the world. The idea of not liking the hand we have been dealt is not an option. I can imagine it now,
“Father, I can not marry Matthias because I am in love with Annie.”
He would most certainly not find that funny. The truth is however that I have no other option. I do not have my own fortune that I can go and live off of. I have no exceptional talent that could help me work through life. I am doomed. I will marry a man, have children, keep a clean house, and be miserable. The saddest thing about it is that I know I am not the only one that feels this way, but that makes no difference. I am a woman. I do not know what love is. I will never be able to be myself.
(Based off of thoughts and entries found in the book Lesbian-Feminism in turn-of-the-century Germany by Lillian Faderman and Brigitte Eriksson)